What Would Ted Lasso Do?

First of all, I invite any audience to share what they loved most about Ted Lasso. I ask them if they had seen any inspiring messages in the show and what they were? I ask what their biggest take-aways from the show were. I have yet to find anyone who did not love this show and many people felt that Ted Lasso spoke to them personally.

Ted is funny and light. And I try to make my talks funny and light too. Although I am based in the US, I am British, so I especially enjoy all the transatlantic jokes and drink a lot of what Ted calls "garbage water" and I call tea.

But there is depth to the show too. Ted’s core belief is that all people are worthy, even the ones who are out to trip him up. “You know what you do with tough cookies,” Ted tells his boss, Rebecca. “You dip them in milk.” This is the fundamental message that I try to impart.

Throughout the show, there are hidden messages which inspire us to be better, kinder, happier people. In my talks we look for those messages and I show how we can apply them to ourselves using expert advice which I have gathered from psychologists.

I start with the power of self belief, because that's what Ted with his 'Believe' sign is all about. I talk about the importance of self belief or self efficacy as psychologists call it, and how you can develop it. "People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities," said the late psychologist Albert Bandura, the pre-eminent expert in this field. How does this relate to Ted Lasso? Followers of the show will remember Nate who is so lacking in confidence that he's surprised when anyone remembers his name. But we see with Ted's help, Nate's confidence grows. So how do we apply that to our own lives? The message is simple. If we think we are capable of something, it's possible we really are. If we believe we can get our dream job, we'll apply for it, and so naturally there's a chance that we'll get it. If we don't believe we can get it, we won't bother applying and guarantee that we don't. I offer tips and tricks on learning to be more self-confident, all of which are on display in the TV show

I talk about the value of curiosity, recalling Ted's darts match in the pub when he takes on mean Rupert Manion. Ted says: "Guys have underestimated me my entire life and for years, I never understood why. But then one day I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman. It said 'Be curious. Not judgmental'.

Being curious, or empathetic (curious by another name) is the antidote to being judgmental. We are all judgmental to a greater or lesser extent, but if we can lean towards being curious, it benefits us. Psychologists believe that one of the greatest benefits of curiosity is not just knowledge, it's emotional wellbeing. "Research has shown curiosity to be associated with higher levels of positive emotions, lower levels of anxiety, more satisfaction with life," according to Emily Campbell, Ph.D., Research Associate at the University of California, Berkeley.

Glassdoor, the recruitment specialists, were among the first to recognize that curiosity or empathy, made better bosses. Late in 2020 they published a list of the top-performing CEOs in the US and UK, based on employee reviews. The common traits of the best CEOs was their willingness to listen and be empathetic towards their employees.

Right from the start, we know that Ted Lasso is curious and empathetic. Remember when he arrives at Heathrow and he's met by a taxi driver? Within minutes, he knows his driver's name, he's asking him questions, he's listening. I give tips and tricks on how we can all be more curious.

I also explore optimism, and how much of Ted's world view can be traced back to eminent psychologist Viktor E Frankl. Frankl bought a lot of attention to the idea of what a hopeful frame of mind can do for us when he wrote a famous book called Man's Search for Meaning, published in 1946. In the book, he chronicled his experience as a prisoner in Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Like so many there, he was subjected to torture and worked to the brink of death. He watched people dying all around him, but he also saw some people surviving, some better than others. In almost equal circumstances, not everyone fared the same. Why? His conclusion was that human beings have a choice in how we react to events and circumstances. Those who lost faith, hope and meaning did not survive as well as those who hung on to those interior thoughts. So is it possible that our reactions to events can influence the outcomes in our lives?

Frankl, along with many psychologists since, believed that we can. And it seems likely that the writers of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudeikis among them, believe that too. "One of the themes of the show is that evil exists - bullies, toxic masculinity, malignant narcissist - and we can't destroy them," Sudeikis has said in interviews when talking about his show. "That's where the positivity and some of the lessons come in - it's about what we have control over."

There are many other books including The Power of Positive Thinking: A Practical Guide to Mastering the Problems of Everyday Living by Norman Vincent Peale and Learned Optimism by Martin E Seligman Ph.D which also point to how we can learn to be optimistic and positive. In my talk, I explore the research, but make it relatable and bite-sized in the way that Ted does.

Other topics which I include is the value of volunteering. Remember Ted and Rebecca delivering Christmas gifts to children? It is a well studied, scientific fact that by doing good deeds we help ourselves because it makes us forget about ourselves and so our burdens are lifted. A study published by the American Psychological Association found that adults aged over 50 who volunteered for four hours every week showed significantly lower blood pressure than their peers who did not volunteer.

I also talk about the benefits of therapy. Season two of Ted Lasso sees Ted resistant to the idea of therapy. He is frightened of therapist Dr Sharon, and we, the audience, begin to suspect that Ted has suffered a tragedy in his life. When he finally breaks down and talks to Dr Sharon, we come to learn how useful therapy can be. "For a show such as Ted Lasso to depict the initial stages of therapy with such care and nuance is an act of generosity," says psychologist Erin Qualey. "Ted Lasso delivers a raw and honest portrayal of how - with the right therapist - a person can overcome their fears and begin to pursue a more hopeful path." In my talks I normalize therapy. No one gets a free pass in life. Anyone can use it sometimes. Even Ted.

Forgiveness, authenticity, toxic masculinity are other themes of the show, and all of them become part of the general discussion.

I have had people tell me that my book What Would Ted Lasso Do? is a self-help guide for the kind of people who wouldn't normally buy a self help book. My talks aim to reach that same ideal - motivational, but fun, not preachy and as relatable for a teenager as an octogenarian.

I have been a journalist and writer all my working life. I feel like I fell out of the lucky tree because it was all I ever wanted to do. In my career, I’ve met and written about some extraordinary people, many of Hollywood’s most famous. They were the inspiration for my first two novels (Headline Publishing).
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Writing reportage as it relates to social and cultural reality has been an equal privilege, sometimes even effecting positive change. The story I am most proud of resulted in a change in the legal age of marriage in Kentucky. I had found a twelve-year old girl married to a 74-year-old man there. A small sample of that work is in the archive below.
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​I have, over the years, contributed to many publications including The Los Angeles Times, The London Times, The Sunday Times, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail, Marie Claire (US, UK, Australian editions), Cosmopolitan, Glamor, (link hidden) and (link hidden)

I am, by nature, positive and optimistic. Always have been, and I fell in love with the TV show Ted Lasso like everyone else. But not long after I’d been watching it on Apple TV+, a car accidentally hit the side of my Subaru. Rude words and expletives would be my usual choice in such situations. But instead, I found myself thinking ‘Well, what would Ted Lasso do if this had happened to him?’

I knew he’d be kind to the other driver because that’s what the show’s all about. So I took a deep breath and surprised myself at how nice I was about a dent in the side of my car. Even more surprising though was how good I felt about it. Not angry but pleased that I hadn’t been horrible to the other driver who turned out to be a terrified old lady. Saintly, right?

It occurred to me then that Ted Lasso, a comedy about an American soccer coach in London had really got to me. And I don’t even like soccer.

I began to do a bit of research – I’m a journalist. It’s what I do. I found that many of the ideas which are woven into Ted Lasso come from what’s called the Positive Psychology Movement. All those messages of self-belief which Ted uses to encourage his soccer team, stem from well researched psychology ideas which have been proven can help all of us.

Those ideas are now in my book, which I describe as a mixture of TV fandom and psychology, and they are fun to talk about. It's like self help, but for the kind of people who wouldn't normally be interested in self help.

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