I make people laugh really hard for a living.
My comedy is these things, in this order:
1) Silly
2) Honest
3) Smart
4) Raunchy
5) Heartfelt
I have a unique style that includes playing both parts in a short one-act play, rattling off ten one-liners in a minute while the audience watches the time tick down and I can't see it, and singing original funny songs.
I can't guarantee everyone will like my brand of humor, but I can guarantee this: no one has ever or will ever leave my show and say, "That guy's just like most comics I've seen."
I have a lot of strong material. I can easily do an hour by myself.
If you need a squeaky clean show, I can do 20 minutes.
I think we were both a little nervous, my first time hiring a comedian, his first time at a house party. Once the show got going, he was pretty funny.
Price Range: $150 and up (plus gas)
Gig Length: 15 - 60 minutes
I provide up to an hour of comedy ranging from personal stories to original music.
My set can range from "church clean" to "dirty as f*ck," depending on your needs.
If the set has to be super clean, I can only do about 20 minutes as an opening act.
ABOUT ME
I am a professional stand up working at Helium Comedy Club, where I have opened for acts including Richard Lewis, Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Murphy, Maria Bamford, Dana Gould, Brian Posehn, and Chris Hardwick.
I am also one-half of sketch-comedy duo Animosity Pierre, Official Selection of the 2010 Chicago Sketchfest and the 2010 San Francisco Sketchfest. We've been praised by TIME magazine and the Preston and Steve Morning Show, Philadelphia's top-rated morning show.
In the past decade I have performed for thousands of people in comedy clubs, theaters, music venues, and bars across the country. I can handle any audience you put in front of me.
WHAT EVENT PLANNERS CAN EXPECT
I will bring an entire comedy show to you. If you give me a budget and provide a microphone, a stool, and a few bottles of water, I can handle the rest. I will bring a host and a feature, and I will headline. The show can be as long or as short as you need it to be. It can involve several comedians or just me.
You will only have to interact with me. Everything will be done professionally and punctually. I hand-pick the acts who open for me after seeing them successfully handle a variety of venues. I'll get some information from you about the demographic of your audience to make sure I tailor my set to that specific audience, and to pick comedians who will please that specific room.
The night of the event, you will just have to point us to the stage and then sit back and enjoy your event while we crack your audience up.
If the show is purely stand up, I just need a stage, some lights, a microphone, a stool, and a bottle of water. If I'll be performing music, I will need an amp to plug in my guitar, and possibly a second microphone and a few tracks played through the speakers from an iPod. I'm extremely low-tech because I know each venue is different and not all venues are set up for performances.
| August 03, 2019 • 7:00pm - 7:45pm | Birthday Party |
| November 24, 2018 • 2:30pm - 2:45pm | Birthday Party |
I have a LOT of jokes, and my set changes from show to show based on the makeup of the audience.
No need to list all my jokes. Here are some highlights. Just the topics, not the whole joke.
Jokes about Family:
Bad Boy Farm--a lie my dad told me to make me behave as a kid
Eating Cherries--the day I realized my parents were just humans, and not necessarily bright ones
Gift Card One-Act--I show the audience how giving a gift card is actually an insult by acting out a short play between two men in the late 1800s.
Jokes about Relationships:
Sentient Vines--a joke about how my girlfriend's hair comes back to life after she sheds it, and is trying to kill me
Skinny--a joke about women who aren't heavy complaining about being fat in public, and what I think should happen to them
Dating a ten--my experience as a 7 who is dating a woman who is clearly a 10, and how it isn't as ego-boosting as I'd hoped
Jokes about Sex:
Minnie Mouse--my explanation of how people don't go looking for fetishes, but our fetishes come and find us.
Thriller Cuddle--I describe my inability to be touched at the moment of orgasm in terms of Michael Jackson turning into a werewolf in the opening scene of the Thriller video.
Sleepy--I talk about dating a girl 8 years younger than me, and how there are some things where she has much more stamina than I do, and vice versa.
Songs:
I'm Sorry--a guy apologizing to his girlfriend for all the mistakes he's made in the first four days of their relationship
The First Time Werewolf Girl F*cked Computerhead Boy--a song about exactly what the title says, with a suprisingly deep message of tolerance in the end. Seriously.
My stand up influences include George Carlin, Louis CK, Dana Gould, Paul F. Tompkins, Bill Burr, and Mike Birbiglia.
In general, my comedy influences include The Kids in the Hall, Woody Allen, Jon Stewart, The Zucker Brothers, Monty Python, Peter Sellers, Tim and Eric, Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Adam McKay, Wes Anderson, Weird Al Yankovic, Flight of the Conchords, and a billion others I can't think of right now.
microphone
stool
plug-in for guitar
stage lights
bottles of water
New York City, NY 
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